The Intersection

Have you ever missed a turn? You’re going along and maybe, for an instant, you lose focus. Once you come to, you notice that you’re no longer on route to your original destination. At some point we all realize that success is not easily earned. But no matter when the shift takes place, it clicks that hunger brings forth prosperity.  As children we can pursue whatever dreams we have with no concern for external responsibilities (food, housing, family etc). Slowly we come to find that each of those cannot be maintained without hard work. If we’re lucky, once adulthood hits, fate, courage and faith will intersect and provide us with the opportunity to live. Because what is truly living, if not successfully aligning your dreams with your responsibilities?

I hope that even if you miss a turn, you find your way back to the intersection.

~Thankful

*Pardon my sketch!

Resolutions

The holidays certainly did blaze by! I hope that you were among the fortunate who got the chance to spend time with family and friends. What’s wonderful is that, in the moments leading up to and immediately following January 1, 2012, I read declarations of hopefulness, thankfulness and  general positivity in everyone’s (ok most people’s) public forums (Facebook, Twitter, Blog’s etc.). As we all know, it’s quite easy to be optimistic at the beginning, it’s another thing to sustain. I hope that everyone is able to maintain the same sense of purpose, drive and hope that they’ve displayed in the last 48 hours!

Every year brings a new set of resolutions. Actually, as I stated in an older post, “Coffin, Carriage or Both?”, some tend to rollover! Nonetheless, determining this year’s resolutions forced me to review last year’s lessons. For some reason, I had the urge to write a post on things I would tell my daughter, AKA: Things I wish I’d known. I wrote the entire post but have yet to share because, shortly after completing it, I realized that there are about 100 things that I would have told myself at the beginning of 2011! So, in lieu of sharing things that I’ve learned over the last 25 years of life, I’ll simply share the most recent. I kid you not, each of these things informed my resolutions for 2012. So now, in no particular order:

1. Don’t take anything personally (well, take some things personally…)

I’ve  learned that people are extremely sensitive to other’s actions to them. But sometimes we fail to realize that people’s actions, comments, choices etc., have little or nothing to do with us. It’s easy to believe that we are the center of the world and blah, blah, blah. However, there are a million factors informing everyone’s life and we may never know what they are. Taking offense to said actions gives way too much credit to your role in any situation. With that said, I’ve met some people who take absolutely nothing personally, and that can’t be too productive either. Because if you accept no responsibility for outcomes, then how can you grow?

2. Everyone has something going on.

What’s that saying, something like, if everyone threw their problems in a hat and you had to pick one, you’d gladly ask for your problems back? Well, everyone has issues. And, given that there are tons of reasons why you couldn’t return that phone call, send that holiday card or attend that friend’s event, people really appreciate when you follow through. On the other side of that, it’s important to be sensitive to the fact that people have some heavy things going on. And, no matter what you’re going through, it’s always a cycle. So even if you feel as though you’re alone in your troubles, it’s a fact that things will get better if you keep making positive choices. As someone close to me always says, “when you’re going through hell keep going,” ~Les Brown.

3. Keep it simple.

There have been  more than a couple of times this year when I’ve stressed out. And, what I realized soon after the stress subsided was that I’d made things way more difficult than they needed to be. This may sound totally crazy, but I’ve found that at the beginning of a huge undertaking, be it physical, emotional, intellectual or other, it’s easier if I take a few deep breaths and remember my core task. Keeping it simple helps me from getting lost in the details.

4. Remember why you started.

If I remember why I’ve started a task, then I can always finish. (That is, as long as I had a good reason for starting…)

5. Family is first.

Family has never been more important to me than in these last two years. It’s funny, as a kid you see missed calls from your mom or grandmother or brother or whomever and think, “I’ll call them back,” or, “I’ll listen to the message later.” Now, if I see a call from family, I answer. And, if I’ve missed a call, I call back as soon as I see it. I feel a renewed sense of responsibility towards each and every family member, and to those close friends whom I consider family.

6. Attitude is everything.

I’ve always thought of one’s attitude to be very important, but I’m not sure I considered how I was affected by the attitudes of those close to me. Well, I am. And, as such I’ve gotten rid of a lot of people who bring negative or counterproductive energy into my life. So if you spend most of your time complaining about trivial things, or meditating on why things aren’t possible, then we just won’t be spending time together. Sorry, although I’m sure those people don’t mind!

7. Take chances.

You may think, “easy for her to say, she doesn’t have real responsibilities (i.e.: children, a spouse, or a home).” But, I think that taking a chance means something different for everyone. So, taking a chance for me may mean taking a low paying job because it’s work that I love. On the other hand, taking a chance for someone who has real responsibilities may mean investing a sliver of free time in something they love. We are often blinded by the need to make money. In some cases, we equate monetary returns with validation. As if to say, if we don’t earn cash for completing something, it has no merit. Well, completing something you love has merit in itself, for you. And who knows, if you love  something enough, you may even eventually earn some cash to doing it.

My list of resolutions is pretty short this year. It’s filled with tasks to help me achieve personal goals in 2012, so I’ll keep it to myself.

I hope that everyone enjoyed the holiday! I’m going to work on keeping up my enthusiasm for 2012 over the next 364 days.

~Thankful for another year

P.S.: If you need a laugh to start your day, Lexington man charged with making a fake $1 million bill and trying to spend it

Secret Santa

Yesterday an anonymous person (someone ahead of me in line) purchased my hot cider. There are less than 24 hours left to be someone’s Secret Santa! And, as a person who was just on the receiving end, I’m very thankful! I’ll do my best to give back today.

Happy holidays everyone!

~ Thankful

Made Woman Magazine

Image

I’ve just started contributing to an online publication, Made Woman Mag. Check them out, like them on Facebook and follow them on Twitter. Hopefully there’s an interview with the founders in Thankful For a Million’s future.

Here’s a link to my first article.

I hope that everyone is enjoying (or in some cases looking forward to) their holiday!

~Thankful

Santa, I Love You!

I just received the BEST gift/note from Santa ever…

 

 

 

Santa, for the record, one of these street sweeping tickets was received while doing a favor for a friend. Just sayin’… I’m not all bad.

~Thankful

Carriage, Coffin or Both?

It’s crazy how quickly the New Year comes along. I mean, one day you’re writing resolutions and then, BAM!, the year is over and you’re left trying to determine if resolutions can “roll-over” like cell phone minutes. A while back I decided not to make resolutions based on an absolute result such as, “lose 10 lbs,” or “get all A’s.” Instead, I chose to focus on values or lifestyle changes like, “live healthier,” or “work on prioritizing tasks.” My change in mindset allowed me to accomplish more because, instead of focusing on those 10 lbs I wanted to lose, I made smaller choices. Each choice led to a much happier, healthier me and seemed less daunting. My success rate skyrocketed!

I’m a firm believer that the universe presents you with things exactly when you need them. Just as I was considering next years resolutions, I ran in to a sociable older woman at a film screening. I’d like to believe that she’s always personable but, in truth, I think she’d succumb to a crush on a male friend I’d brought along =). At any rate, this 70-something year-old woman started a relatively unprompted discussion about self-doubt. She’d overheard my friend and I talking about career paths and was eager to chime in.The first thing she said was:

“When I was your age I was waiting on my carriage. Now, I’m waiting on my coffin.”

Of course my initial thought was, please let this negativity lead somewhere enlightening. Well, I asked and received! She went further to explain that, early on in her career she worried about what her family expected of her, what would happen if she made the wrong decision and how each and every step she took would help to manifest her dream life. At that point, she was of course waiting on her carriage. There were endless possibilities available to her. However, now she can, admittedly, only see her coffin. Due to this, her mind that was once clouded and slowed by self-doubt is now clear and swift. She makes decisions confident that they are the right ones, and sure that, if anything ill befalls her, there is always another choice to be made. The things that aided her self-development were no doubt, her experience and realization that death is an absolute.

Now, while looking to one’s death may be too heavy an image to consider when making decisions, I felt that this woman shared a valuable experience with me. In truth, in her youth, she failed to realize her own mortality. Because, we are all no different from her. The coffin is in view for each and every one of us. It may be 6 months, a year, 5 years, 50 years or more away, but it is still a guarantee. At any point in our lives we choose to focus on the carriage or the coffin. Endless possibility or looming finality. What’s important to remember is that it is all possible at any given point in time, no matter how short or long we’ve lived. Whether you’re 25 or 75, you can accomplish goals, learn, grow, love and contribute. So, my answer to the question above: BOTH. Our limited time means that we must make decisions based on our goals, values and strengths and, at the same time, try our best to throw away self-doubt. We must be clear and swift so we can have as many carriage rides as life allows.

So, what’s at the top of my resolution list?

  1. Approach my decisions with confidence and clarity.

… the rest of the list will soon follow.

Today I’m thankful for those willing to share their experiences.

I hope that your resolution lists are going well! If you have any to share, please do.

~Thankful

Very True

“Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become your character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”

~Unknown (to me, but if you have any idea, please share!)